Becoming a foster parent is a life-changing decision, not just for the children and teens…
Celebrating National Adoption Month with the Tessena Family
November marks National Adoption Month, a time to celebrate families formed through adoption and raise awareness about the children in foster care waiting for permanent homes. At Children's Home Society of North Carolina, we are honored to share stories like the Tessena family — a powerful testament to the transformative impact of adoption through foster care.
A Journey That Started with "Are We In?"
For Andy and Allison Tessena, foster care and adoption were not just a consideration; it was a shared priority from their very first dates. But nothing quite prepares you for the moment when possibility becomes reality. When the text came through in March (once they were officially licensed foster parents) asking if they could take two boys who needed a placement immediately, their simple “yes” launched an extraordinary journey.
"I get off the call and it started sinking in; oh my gosh, we're doing it. Human beings are coming to our house," Allison recalled. Like many prospective foster parents in North Carolina, they ran to the store, buying multiple sizes of everything because they did not know what to expect. But beyond the physical preparation, an emotional transformation was already beginning.
The Reality of Foster Care in North Carolina
The Tessenas quickly discovered that foster care rarely follows a predictable path. What began as a placement of two toddler boys soon expanded when they learned the children’s biological mother was seven and a half months pregnant. Despite being brand-new overnight parents, they made the difficult but crucial decision to keep the siblings together — even when the expected baby girl turned out to be a baby brother.
“As is the case with foster care, you just roll with it,” Andy explained, describing how they picked up the newborn from the hospital and slowly exchanged the girl clothes they'd prepared for boy clothes.
This flexibility and commitment exemplifies what makes successful foster care possible. In North Carolina, there are currently hundreds of children in foster care waiting for families willing to embrace uncertainty and prioritize what's best for the children.
Shared Parenting and the Emotional Complexity of Adoption
One of the most profound aspects of the Tessena’s story is their dedication to shared parenting with the children's biological mother. They supported her reunification efforts, shared parenting strategies, and collaborated on therapeutic approaches, all while navigating the emotional roller coaster of watching her make strides and then struggle.
“Foster care is an exercise in being human,” Allison reflected. “That mix and conflict of emotions is there pretty much every step of the way.”
When the case goal eventually changed to adoption, they experienced what many foster care adoptive parents face: simultaneous joy and grief. Joy for the forever family they would build, but mourning for the loss of the biological family connection. This emotional complexity is rarely discussed but deeply important for prospective adoptive parents to understand.
Watch more of the Tessena’s story:
Click here to learn more about foster care or view children waiting for adoption here. The family dressed in the Team Tessena jerseys they received on their adoption day, when the boys’ first question was, “When’s our party?!” They were joined by more than 100 attendees to celebrate the brothers’ adoption.
“I was so incredibly touched to see how many family members, friends, neighbors, teachers, classmates, social workers, just everybody in these boys’ lives, were beyond happy for us and so excited to come celebrate that the adoption was official, and we were officially a family. The outpouring of love and support was just incredible,” Allison Tessena shared.
Allison and Andy had always wanted to foster and then hopefully adopt a sibling set to keep the siblings together. They were given that opportunity with the placement of John, 3, and Cameron, 2. The Tessenas had never planned to foster or adopt a third but when they learned that another sibling was on the way, they quickly said yes and prepared for what they thought was a baby girl’s arrival. Then the boys’ infant brother was born. They immediately regrouped and joyfully welcomed Michael into their family.
Allison and Andy have provided a loving and stable home filled with many opportunities for the boys to grow and learn. Having a positive shared parenting relationship with the boys' mother, they worked hard to assist in reunification. However, when the plan changed to adoption, they were ready to expand their family to a family of five.
“It’s so rewarding to see the tons of people within your community who are so invested in seeing these kids succeed and seeing that the family unit succeeds,” Andy Tessena added. “And it’s important for the boys to know that they belong, and all these people are here for you, to celebrate you.”
Become a Foster Parent
Take the leap with us and start experiencing the life-changing effects of fostering today.